Why is Breastfeeding So Difficult?

For first-time parents, breastfeeding can feel like climbing Mount Everest. Many moms find that with time, it becomes easier, but the early struggles are undeniable.

In interviews with new moms, I’ve heard countless challenges related to breastfeeding: from latch issues and tongue-tie to oversupply or insufficient milk, engorgement, and leaking. Some moms experience cracked nipples, clogged ducts, or even mastitis, trying everything from creams to compresses to cabbage leaves in an attempt to relieve the pain. While breastfeeding is often described as “natural” (though its meaning is open to interpretation), for many, it feels more like an uphill battle, with no satisfying selfie at the summit.

Elana Sures, a clinical consultant at a private clinic in Vancouver, explains that the pressure new moms face only amplifies the difficulties. “When breastfeeding doesn’t go well, many moms think, ‘I’m failing, I’m broken, my poor baby.’”

For some, with time and support from lactation consultants, breastfeeding becomes a beautiful, cherished experience. But for others, with less support or feelings of shame when considering stopping breastfeeding (even as the #normalizeformula and #fedisbest movements strive to reduce stigma), the journey is much harder. New moms need emotional support, sound advice, and zero judgment—whether they’re breastfeeding, using formula, pumping, or some creative combination of the three.

So, why is breastfeeding so difficult? Simply put, it’s a brand-new skill. And you’re trying to learn it while feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and responsible for meeting every need of your newborn. So, cut yourself some slack.

Helpful Resources for Extra Support

If you’re seeking additional breastfeeding support, here are some great online resources:

Today’s Parent
Browse articles covering a variety of topics, including mixed feeding (bottle + breast) and watch videos on how to latch properly. They also have a YouTube channel!
MyMedela App (Android and Apple)
This app offers 24/7 access to lactation consultants via live video chats. You can choose from one-month, three-month, or 12-month membership options for real-time breastfeeding support.
KellyMom.com
A trusted resource for evidence-based breastfeeding information, KellyMom is run by a lactation consultant with a scientific background and is highly recommended by moms everywhere.
International Breastfeeding Center
Associated with the Newman Breastfeeding Clinic in Toronto, this site offers a wealth of useful resources. Visit ibconline.ca and check out their video library under the “Information and Video” tab. It includes examples of breastfeeding throughout the stages of baby growth, as well as demonstrations of gentle latch techniques and the difference between nibbling and “nursing.”

Takeaway

Breastfeeding is tough, especially in the beginning. It’s a skill that takes time, patience, and support to develop. Whether you’re nursing exclusively, supplementing with formula, or using a combination of methods, what’s most important is that you’re giving your baby what they need—on your terms. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help and remember, you’re not alone in this journey!